Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
