She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
