so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
