Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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