Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
