I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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