when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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