wat bout pragnant strippers??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
