then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
