She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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