Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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