i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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