I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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