You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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