Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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