i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
