Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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