i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
