I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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