Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
