can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Come see our sink grown plant.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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