Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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