Umm I'm too high to move.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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