when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
