So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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