There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
