that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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