get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
