And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
