dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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