she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
