Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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