i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
