Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
