I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
