Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
