In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
