He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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