I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
