You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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