lets start a swedish sibling band together
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
