Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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