I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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