He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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