you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
