I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
