What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
