you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
