I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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