Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
