his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
